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About Deviant Member LenaFemale/United States Recent Activity
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Jynk
Lena
United States
Current Residence: Arizona
deviantWEAR sizing preference: Small
Favourite genre of music: I'm a cheater; I like ALL of it HAR HAR
Favourite photographer: Zane hahaha
MP3 player of choice: If it plays music, I like it
Shell of choice: Snail
Skin of choice: The kind i always wear
Favourite cartoon character: Nny :)
Personal Quote: "Don't harsh my mellow"
Interests
I don't know why I even type here anymore. No one ever reads these. But for anyone who might have passing curiosity:

I'm done. I have to put away my pencils and throw away the old sketches. It's time I faced reality. I have no talent, I have no imagination, and I have yet to find my purpose in life. Who knows? I might not have one.

I can't say that I'm happy (Who would be? I had to crush my damn dream), but I'm not looking for sympathy or even for anyone to read this. I've been told I'm a selfish person- so I did this for myself mostly. I did it for closure. So I could tell myself this is the end. But again, who knows? Maybe in the future- heck- maybe tomorrow, I'll reboot my denial and keep the dream alive. But it doesn't matter. Even if I keep drawing, writing, or shouting creative words at passerby, I'll keep in mind that I'm no one special- and I won't keep my hopes up.

Everything in my life is managing to fall apart. I losing everything and everyone that truly matters due to pure chance and my own damn stupidity. I will never be able to forgive myself for a few more recent incidents... But those people in my life deserve better than what I am. The best-and hardest- thing for me to do now is to find the strength to walk away and let myself fade from memory.

But I gotta make things better somehow. In any way I can. If what I'm doing is the wrong way to fix things, then at least I can say I tried. That I did so because I care about them. At least I have one good thing I can say about myself.

I don't know what happens next. I have one last poem I'm writing- more closure- and I will probably post it if I don't riddle it with cuss words to call myself. I need it so I can do what I'm doing with this entry, read it over and learn in case I'm ever trusted by anyone again. So I don't mess it all up. So I can stop being lonely.

I don't know where I'm going, but I can't help but look forward to whoever I meet along the way.
  • Mood: Lonely
  • Listening to: The Only Exception by Paramore

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:iconmoth-called-marigold:
Moth-called-Marigold Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2010   Photographer
:heart:
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:iconakogare:
Akogare Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2009
Thank you for the fave. It's much appreciated. c:
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:icondiegokman:
diegokman Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2009
Hey, thank you very much for the :+fav:!! :D
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:iconessers:
Essers Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009  Student Traditional Artist
thx for the fav ^^
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:iconpriteeboy:
priteeboy Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thankyou for faving some of my deviations
:sun:
:relax:
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:iconinkblort:
inkblort Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks very much for the watch :tmnt4:
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:icontreliquim:
Treliquim Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2008
But I bought the eggs 2 days ago!!!
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:iconforsight00:
Forsight00 Featured By Owner May 29, 2008
Hey! You've been tagged!
The rules are:
1. Post these rules.
2. Each person tagged must post 8 random facts about themselves
3. Tags should write a journal/ blog of these facts
4. At the end of the post 8 more persons are tagged and named
5. Go to their page and leave a comment telling them they're tagged
Reply
Flagged as Spam
:iconforsight00:
Forsight00 Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2008
lookieee.
[link]

tell me what you think
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